Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Supper Table

One of the best memories I have from growing up and well into my college years was the family suppers—conversations and connections after a full day that we all had around the dining room table.

My Mom managed to put a home-cooked, balanced meal on the table every single night despite the fact that she worked full-time. At dinner we were all (including any visiting guests) expected to have and contribute interesting conversation (a lost skill), stories from our day, amusing jokes we had heard, and clever guesses when playing word games. There was frequent laughter and, sometimes, intense debate about current events. After dinner we would often linger talking and joking for quite awhile. The television, that monster of the modern age, was never on during or after dinner.

It was always the kids’ job to clear the table, do the dishes, wipe down the counters and put everything away after supper. It was my special job to boil the water and make the instant coffee for Mom and Dad. They both took milk; Mom took a quarter teaspoonful of sugar and Dad took a teaspoon and a half. Disgusted protests would occur if I got them mixed up. I would bring it to them as they were still sitting at the table conversing, or often they would be doing what they called “stooping”—sitting and having further quiet conversation about their day on the back steps (in the old house in Ellettsville) or on the deck looking out over the woods (in the newer house in Sugar Lane).

After coffee often my father would pronounce, “I am the greatest!”—a claim borrowed from the great fighter Mohammed Ali. The proper response to this (if you had any guts at all) was to confidently proclaim, “No, I am the greatest!” And then the Scrabble board would be hauled out, and all who were willing would play.

My Dad’s Scrabble strength was 7-letter words, which he often took many long minutes to produce. Patience was a virtue during these games. My Mom’s strength was diabolical, tightly interlaced plays leveraging triple-word or triple-letter scores, never leaving openings. House rules were that you could not play a word unless you could clearly define it from memory.

Close to the dining room table in the Sugar Lane house was a hutch, and on the hutch were some nice pieces of glassware, various fishing memorabilia of my Dad’s, an old German mug brought home from Europe after the war. Our gray cat Shadow would sit on the hutch gazing alertly at the Scrabble board as if he were formulating his own play, and would occasionally reach out his paw and quietly lay it on the shoulder of the person sitting with his back to the hutch, as though to offer some form of support during difficult moments. Also on the hutch was a collection of windup toys from past Christmas stockings, ranging from pink plastic pigs to green spotted frogs to little shuffling red sneakers. To liven things up, especially if Dad was taking forever with a 7-letter word, we would wind up the toys and get them going all at once, hopping and shuffling and lurching across the table, and then laugh uproariously when my Dad looked at us askance over his glasses.

When my sister got married at the house one year and her wedding cake was sitting on the supper table, a windup frog ended up decorating the cake and I remember laughing about this so hard I got tears in my eyes. I’m not sure what the groom’s family made of this.

I have tried to encourage the supper table tradition with my own family, and am thrilled and happy when it ends up working out. It brings back some good memories.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Summer of Love

In the full, humid heat of an Indiana July in 1967, my parents packed the family into our light blue station wagon for a road trip headed west. I was thirteen years old. In those days, smoking was acceptable everywhere, even on long-distance car trips, but there was no air conditioning, so the windows were open to make up for it and all we had to do was dodge the burning ashes as they flew out the front windows and back into the rear ones.

Since there were no DVD/CD players, video games, or even reliable radio reception for miles at a time, we took along story books, comic books, crossword puzzles, and notebooks for journaling. We sang songs like “Tell Me Why,” and “Ezekiel Cried Dem Dry Bones.”

We played word games: Twenty Questions and a game called Hink Pink. In Hink Pink, you think of a noun and a modifier that rhyme, provide a definition as the hint, and players guess what the hink pink is. If the rhyming words have multiple syllables (and certainly all the syllables must rhyme), then you provide this hint when you describe your hink pink at the beginning of the game. You might say: “I have a hink pink that is an “obese rodent.” And the solution would be: fat rat. If you, perchance, had a multi-syllabic puzzle you might say, “I have a hinky pinky that means “crazy horse,” and the answer would be “silly filly.” Or a hinkety pinkety that is a “complimentary sparse distribution,” the answer being: flattering smattering. Or a hinketity pinketity that…but I leave this last one as an exercise for the reader. (If you have a really good hink pink that must be shared, leave it in a comment below.)

Thus we somehow managed to amuse ourselves for entire days of travel and restrain from driving each other insane to some degree, although this is easier for me to say because I squirreled myself as far away as possible in the rearmost compartment of the light blue station wagon, and the three siblings including my manic brother and two younger sisters were confined together in the middle seat. (In another example of how we did things differently back then, we never wore seatbelts; if we had been rear-ended I would have been mooshed like a little sardine.) But we managed to avoid for the most part the dreaded moment when my father would slow down and yell, “Don’t make me stop this car!”

Toward evening the kids would start begging for the ultimate treat, a motel with a Swimming Pool. No reservations were made ahead of time so often our exhausted father, faced with motels that had orange neon “no vacancy” signs or were so exceedingly seedy that we couldn’t stomach them, or did not have swimming pools, would drive much farther than planned to get us to the tiny motel room next to the big pool. After checking in, the next move was always cannonballs into the pool to work off all the unexpended energy from a long day of travel.

We passed through Reno on our way to the West Coast, with its exotically dressed ladies and noisy casinos that did not allow minors inside. My father was skilled at winning motel money in poker games. As another example of “things you wouldn’t do nowadays,” Dad handed me a twenty and told me to take the kids and find something to eat while he and Mom gambled for awhile. So I did that, and then the kids and I got distracted by a more accessible area with nickel slots, and not knowing that this was off limits for minors, I pumped a nickel into the nearest one. Suddenly, lights were flashing, bells were ringing and an alarmed woman was hustling the four of us out of the area. My chastened mother came to claim my winnings of about $40 in nickels, which to me back then seemed like quite a bit of dough.

We finally made it all the way to Fisherman’s Wharf in San Franciso, where people that some called hippies were thronging in large numbers, wearing colorful tie-died clothing, peace symbols and headbands, burning lots of incense and other stuff. Guys had hair as long, if not longer, than mine, which was down to my waist back then. People were handing out subversive literature, with ideas I had never, ever heard before and shocking pictures of sexual activity that caused my Mom to blush and pull the papers out of my hand, discarding them with amused horror. There were colorful posters with imagery that was said to be psychedelic, and something called flower power. We had arrived just in time for the Summer of Love. On Fisherman’s Wharf I put my nickels to good use and bought myself a dark brown leather hat with a floppy brim, which my father immediately dubbed my “Go to Hell Hat” for reasons I didn’t fully understand. I wore this hat constantly for the rest of the trip.

As we drove down The Big Sur, Highway 1 was lined with hundreds of hippies, all hitchhiking. In yet another example of things you would never do nowadays, my Dad picked up one of these hitchhikers and peppered him with friendly questions about how he had come to be on the road, where he was headed, what he believes. There was discussion of the need for peace and love, there was concern for something called the draft, and about a war that was raging in a place called Vietnam. The fellow was very good-natured and forthcoming with these questions, and thanked us politely as we dropped him off near the campground that was his destination.

That trip West was quite an adventure, and as we were passing through Terre Haute on the final stretch of our travels back home to our little conservative God-fearing rural Indiana hometown of Ellettsville, I had an epiphany, inspired by pondering the many strange hypocrisies and contradictions of a small town where most folks go to church every Sunday but full blown vandalism in the form of soaped windows, TP’ed trees and corn thrown against picture windows occurs every October 31st.

As a result of the ephiphany I actually made up a song, lyrics and music, wholly out of thin air, with guitar accompaniement. That autumn I won second prize singing this song at the annual Fall Festival. It was quite a hit because it was about sports, based on a cheer we used to do at ballgames. It is one of three songs I ever composed, and its lyrics are now immortalized in this blog as follows:


Ellettsville

I come from E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.
A riot every Halloween and a church on every street.
I said E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.
Our high school ain’t got long-haired kids
And we don’t take LSD.

Well I was born in Hoosier town
I lived there many a year.
I went to their schools and their basketball games
And I learned all their cheers.
But just one cheer stands out so clear
It’ll always be with me.
It’s E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.

Well it’s football in the early fall
And winter brings basketball.
In summer there is baseball
For the guys who ain’t heavy or tall.
But through it all I can hear that call,
It’ll always be with me.
It’s E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.

I said, E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.
A riot every Halloween and a church on every street.
I said E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.
Our high school ain’t got long-haired kids
And we don’t take LSD.

There is a game played overseas
Without a ball or goal.
And guys who go to play that game
Are playin’ with their souls.
I’ve often wondered how the hometown boys
Will bring home victory
Without that cheer to pull them through
Without their parents tried and true
To yell E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.

I said, E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.
A riot every Halloween and a church on every street.
I said E-double-L-E-double-T-S-V-I-double-L-E.
Our high school ain’t got long-haired kids
And we never faced defeat.
Ellettsville...Ellettsville.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

HRC

At the caucus the other night, a couple of other "women of a certain age" who had also voted with me in the minority for Hillary Rodham Clinton came up to me afterwards to thank me for "speaking up and for my passion" about supporting HRC as our next president. We spoke together about how hard it is for us to understand the degree of hatred and anger some people seem to have for her. Although I consider myself to be quite a good communicator, I find it hard to vocalize the certainty with which I believe she is the best person for the job at this time.

Fortunately, Robin Morgan has written an outstanding essay, "Goodby to All That #2," that says it all, pretty much perfectly, including several examples of the "toxic viciousness" and double standard that bother me most. She also points out that the values HRC has go way back to her early days and provides several great quotes that show this. I'm grateful to my brother-in-law Bill for forwarding the link to me.

In the end, Robin is right. I am for Hillary Clinton not because she is a woman, but because I am, and because she is the best choice.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

The Caucus-Race

As I attended the first caucus in my life Tuesday night, I was amused to remember this quote from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in WFree Picture From Alice in Wonderland of Alice and the Dodo Bird. Click Here to Get Free Images at Clipart Guide.comonderland. The scene
occurs just after a frustrated, giant Alice’s excessive tears have caused everyone to have to swim to dry land:

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" 'What I was going to say,’ said the Dodo in an offended tone, ‘was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.’

‘What is a Caucus-race?’ said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that somebody ought to speak, and
no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

‘Why,’ said the Dodo, ‘the best way to explain it is to do it.’ (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (‘the exact shape doesn’t matter,’ it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was no ‘One, two, three, and away,’ but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out ‘The race is over!’ and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking, ‘But who has won?’

This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, ‘everybody has won, and all must have prizes.’ "

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It was standing room only in the Creekside Elementary gym. Dire warnings about exceeding capacity were uttered and all those who weren't registered to vote were asked to leave, with no noticeable impact. Babies cried, young people gave up their seats to the elderly. Familiar-looking neighbors (although I am name-challenged), young and old, stood shoulder to shoulder, all clutching their white or blue registration cards for the Colorado Democratic caucus.

The cold winter’s night with snow on the ground and ice on the sidewalks did not deter these voters, who were finally motivated to have a say in a year when the caucus was held early enough to make a difference.

In my precinct, which I am told has a total of perhaps 330 registered Democratic voters, an unprecedented 129 people had Shown Up. The amazed old hands who have been showing up for years said that prior to this they had seen turnouts ranging from 8-30. A few straw polls and subsequent binding votes and a few impassioned statements from various participants later, we had 99 for Obama and 29 for Clinton, resulting in 5 county delegates for Obama, and 1 for Clinton.

I voted for Hillary, and was interested to see how hard it was for me to be in the minority. I even screwed up the courage to say a few words to try to sway my neighbors, with no observed affect other than causing my heart to beat very fast for a few minutes. It was a fascinating, messy, but ultimately productive process managed totally by dedicated volunteers who got the job done by 8:45 pm. Barack carried the State of Colorado, but I have faith in Hillary and we are in early days still. See future blogs for more on this.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Here I Go A Caucusing

Super Tuesday for primaries and caucuses is coming up this week on February 5. Colorado is one of the twenty-four states participating, early enough to make a difference in deciding who will be the Republican and Democratic candidates this fall.

I have been quite fascinated recently with the campaigns and have watched several of the debates. I’ve decided to attend my precinct’s caucus Tuesday night although I’ve never been to one and am having to research what the heck a caucus is and how it works. At first I felt I was incredibly ignorant and out of the loop not to have a better understanding of this process. After all, I’ve lived in Colorado for the last 30 years. But there were always primaries in Indiana and also in Colorado it turns out until a switch in 2003 to caucuses for presidential elections, apparently to save the $2 million each primary costs.

Since I’ve voted in primaries in the past, I am registered as a Democrat, but in order to participate in Tuesday’s caucus I had to decide who I favor to be the Democratic candidate. Although I have great admiration for Barack Obama and the fresh excitement and passion he has brought to the campaign especially for the youth of our country, I have decided that Hillary Clinton is the best choice to be our next president.

My choice is not based on the fact the she is a woman and would be our first female president, although it will be thrilling to see that happen in my lifetime. Instead, I believe she is the best candidate for the job. My choice is based on her 35 years of experience in public service, including the past 7 years as a New York Senator and distinguished member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, as well as her successful effort to pass the Children’s Health Insurance Program. She learned a great deal from her previous effort as First Lady to bring about reform in health care and will apply this knowledge when she is president. She is committed to ending the war as soon as practical but fully understands the complications including the danger not only to our troops but to the 100,000 civilians and Iraqi citizens who have helped us during the Iraqi War.

Barack Obama has great promise. But he has been a Senator for only three years. Although he believes he will bring a fresh approach to Washington and the White House, finding ways to work with Congress to get things done is easier with past experience to draw on, and Hillary has the experience to hit the ground running. She already knows the challenges she’ll be facing and has clear and detailed plans for how to address these challenges. It will be a great historic moment when she is sworn into office and I really want to see it happen. I logged onto her website today and made a donation; I also signed up to make phone calls on her behalf and have already done a few today, something I have never before done in my life. It’s not easy making these “cold calls” but I hope my small part makes a difference.

Super Tuesday should be a very interesting day.