That's a Joke, Son

There's an article by David Noonan in Newsweek this week from from their “Boomer Files” series called "The Way We Laughed." It is about the common ground we of a certain generation have in the realm of humor. A “Boomer Humor” quiz and a helpful timeline offer reminiscences about the evolution of humor for the boomer generation, a mixture of “nothing-is-sacred,” cynical, question-authority themes dating back as far as Mad Magazine’s Alferd E. Neuman (“What, me worry?") or even Popeye cartoons and The Three Stooges.I often find myself quoting certain phrases at work that I find funny, but to those around me from other cultures or generations, I am sure they are utterly indecipherable. Thus, a glossary is provided below.

• “Woop-woop-woop-woop. Spoken quickly in a high pitched tone, it is a comment acknowledging an out-of-control and somewhat scary situation, circa “The Three Stooges,” as in the situation in which Moe, Larry and Curly Joe are movers trying to transport a suite of armor that turns out to be haunted.
• "Danger, Will Robinson". Spoken in a robotic yet urgent voice to warn of the potential for an upcoming mistake or disaster. From the 1960’s TV series “Lost in Space,” it was spoken by the Robot charged with keeping the youngest member of the Space Family Robinson crew, Will Robinson, safe from danger in outer space.
• “I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!” An expression of outrageously evil spite, made famous by the actress playing the character of the Wicked Witch of the West in the 1939 version of the film “The Wizard of Oz.” The witch is so mean that her vengeance extends not only to Dorothy, but even to Dorothy’s little dog Toto, for God’s sake.
• “I’m melting, I’m melting. Ohhh, what a world, what a world…” Said witch’s final words expressing amazement at the undeserved cruelty of the world after Dorothy accidentally splashes water on her (while trying to save the Scarecrow who the witch has just attempted to burn to death), and it turns out she melts on exposure to water (who knew?). Yes, this is the type of fairy tale I grew up with.
• “Don't crush that dwarf--and hand me the pliers." One of the many insane phrases from a 1970s comedy troupe called The Firesign Theater, creators of the Rocky Roccoco and Nick Danger characters among others. I also recall them using this phrase: "Is this your bar of soap? ….we thought so,” during a bit with a border guard, spoken ominously and officiously in a German accent as a supreme expression of Fascism induced paranoia. However, no one else can remember this so it might be my own active imagination.
• “Resistance is futile.” Suitable in cases where the corporation has made an edict apparently beyond questioning, this is the declaration of The Borg in Star Trek letting you know that this organization is way too big to be stopped by any reservations you may have on strategy.
• “No soup for you!” Spoken by the Soup Nazi to Seinfeld, Elaine and company after they commit some transgression that results in being banned from their favorite and exclusive soup stand. It’s a NYC thing.
• “Festivus for the rest of us,” the strange family tradition of Seinfeld’s friend, George, which involves among other things an aluminum flagpole and wrestling your dinner host to the ground after airing all grievances with everyone attending the holiday dinner. Amusing to anyone whose own family had weird holiday traditions.
• “You got a whole lot of ‘splainin to do, Lucy,” spoken by Ricky Ricardo to Lucille Ball upon discovering yet another hair-brained scheme of Lucy’s that has wreaked havoc, usually as part of Lucy’s continuing effort to participate in Ricky’s show.
• “I don’t thin’ so, Queeksdraw…” spoken in a stereotypical Mexican accent by cartoon character Quick Draw McGraw’s often wiser sidekick Baba Looey when Quick Draw in his infinite wisdom is about to get them in trouble with another hair-brained scheme that will result in them having “a whole lot of ‘splainin’ to do” (see above). Quick Draw always assures Baba Looey that he’ll “do all the thinnin’ around here…” Another handy one in the corporate world.
• “Beep-beep,” another cartoon reference, this is the old fashioned version of the modern day Simpsons “aha,” uttered by the Roadrunner while cleverly leaving Wile E. Coyote in the dust again.
• “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.” Spoken in a frenzied British accent, this is a Monty Python, expression referring to the extreme cleverness of the strategy of fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency. Who would expect that in the corporate world, hmmm? Also use to explain why you haven’t anticipated the latest misstep or malfunction.
• “He’s not dead—he’s restin’.” Paraphrase from Monty Python, spoken in an indignant Cockney accent by the pet store clerk who is attempting to address the complaints of a dubious customer to whom he has sold a dead parrot, nailed upright to its perch. Representative of corporate unwillingness to face reality especially when dealing with customers.
• “Dave’s not here, man.” Supremely representative of severe miscommunication, this is from a Cheech and Chong album where Dave is urgently banging on the door, desperate to be let in and whispering repeatedly, “It’s Dave, let me in, it’s Dave,” with Chong on the other side of the door repeatedly responding in a very stoned voice with, “Dave’s, not here, man.”
• “Jane, you ignorant slut,” a good one for the upcoming political season or for any heated argument. From a Saturday Night Life (SNL) takeoff on the political sparring of "Point, Counterpoint," Jane Curtin always begins with well-reasoned points on a topic, followed by Dan Aykroyd who begins his counterpoint segment with “Jane, you ignorant slut.” Not that this kind of thing ever happens in real life.
• “As Roseanne Roseannadanna always says, ‘it’s always something’.” The signature phrase of a gum-chewing, inane character created by the legendary Gilda Radner of SNL.
• “Oh, that’s very different. Nevermind.” Another character of Gilda Radner's, Emily Litella. Emily is a little old deaf lady who, much to Jane Curtin’s annoyance, always wants to have her say in the evening news and express her dismay at some new current events development, like “Violins in the Schools.” “What so bad about violins in the schools?” she asks with righteous indignance. "Kids should have more music these days, this is an outrage"…and then Jane has to explain that it’s not violins in the schools, it’s “violence in the schools.” At which point Emily Litella pauses for a moment and then says sweetly, “Ohhh – that’s very different. Nevermind.”

There are many more of course - feel free to post your own!

Find Joy At Work

My one New Year’s resolution is: Find Joy At Work.

Why? Because I invest a huge amount of my time and energy in work. And like a marriage, if work is not going well and I’m not feeling good about it, my whole existence is affected. The first step in finding joy at work is believing it’s there to find. And I do believe that. The main ways I experience joy at work are:

• The endless fascination of people. People are like icebergs – only a small fraction of their entity is really visible on the surface. People, their motivations, emotions, psychology, perceptions, fears, and dreams, are very interesting to me.


• The challenge. Usually there are problems at work that I can contribute to solving, although these challenges often represent huge frustration as well. Unraveling the confusion and overcoming the adversity can be very satisfying.


• The sense of accomplishment. Hard-won, for sure, but to know that I have made a difference and achieved a goal, especially if it was working with an intrepid band of dedicated people who care about doing their best, is a joyous event.

Of course, I also see a lot of frustration, discombobulation, miscommunication, unintended consequences, poor judgment and even anguish at work. It is always a choice, and the only thing I really control is my own reaction to it. But if one of my main focuses each and every day is to find the joy, then I hope it can continue to be worthwhile. Yeah, I know it sounds like motherhood and apple pie – but consider the alternative.

Ease of Use

Apparently my husband Mark thinks that I’m a genius. He believes I’m on the same level as a rocket scientist, in fact. He told me this on our morning walk along the sparkling snowy Boulder bike paths.

Why does he believe I am a genius? Because I understand computers; that is, I can usually fix problems and perform simple maintenance activities on our home computer, which remains to him a complete and utter mystery. Computers are such a mystery to Mark that a question I might ask in preparation for a backup, like, “You do keep all your documents in your ‘My Documents’ folder, don’t you?” confounds him.

And yet, Mark was an early computer user. He was using the first computer I bought for myself, an Osborne Kaypro II, in the early 1980’s. He wrote an entire novel, as well as numerous short stories, using that computer. What’s that sonny? You’ve never heard of a Kaypro II? It had a whopping 64K of memory and a green character display. It used something called “floppy disks” for all, all data storage, and it had an operating system called CP/M. It also had a word processing program called Perfect Writer which could only be used when you inserted the floppy disk containing this program into drive A – then you stored your documents on the floppy disk in drive B. Although not a rocket scientist, Mark managed to use this computer quite adeptly, including its spell checking capability which he sorely needed, as long as it consistently behaved as he expected.

And nothing much has changed today. He can use our Windows XP Home Edition PC, with the broadband Internet connection and the 1 GB of memory and the 225 GB storage just fine for useful work such as financial tracking in Quicken. He can back up the Quicken files onto a CD. He even Googles, now that the browser on his desktop has been set up with Google as his homepage.

(One time I set his browser homepage to point to a document that said HELLO MARK!!! instead of to the usual Google site. The next time he opened the browser it gave him quite a shock: "How do they know who I am??").

Mark can use this computer quite well to accomplish all sorts of useful tasks, as long as it consistently behaves exactly as he expects it to. And this is a key challenge for those of us in the software business--to make it so easy to use that it makes sense to Mark. The more I think about it, the more I think that may be rocket science after all.

At the Homeless Shelter

Last Monday I volunteered to help the The Colorado Agency for the Homeless by working with people at the Boulder Shelter for the Homeless to complete questionnaires. It is part of a HUD program to collect baseline information about different types of homelessness and how we might best fund housing and services that help people who are homeless to become self-sufficient. The last Colorado count was on August 28 and at that point there were 11,890 homeless people counted in the state.

I spoke with two women and three men, each quite different in their situations and needs. I encountered a range of emotions including anger, frustration, anxiety, exhaustion, and cheerful acceptance. One question in the form was about what services they needed but were unable to get, and that was interesting. Almost everybody agreed that they could get food and shelter if they needed it. Employment and transportation were a different matter, and housing was a big issue, especially for the single males who are a lower priority for many agencies than the families. Some of the challenges included serious physical issues such as cancer and asthma, and equally serious mental health issues including bipolar disorder.

My brother Paul had trouble with bipolar disorder and drugs all his life, but there were also good times. He was witty, loved to play his fiddle, loved to ride his bicycle, could be a great uncle to my kids at times, carving jack o’lanterns with them at Halloween.

Toward the end it got increasingly crazy though. The bipolar ups and downs and the constant drug use in combination were too much. He was homeless for a while before he died last year, although in the last months he had managed to get “Section 8” housing – an apartment with a balcony that actually had a view of the Flatirons. He had a job for a couple of days, but they said that he was “too slow.” The whole story is too complicated to tell here. I have had tendencies to feel guilty that I didn’t help him more, although truth be told I did everything in my power and energy to help him over many years. In talking to the people the other night at the Shelter I realized how very fortunate he had been to get the housing and the opportunity to change his unemployed situation. Nevertheless, he died of a methadone overdose last May.

When we went with the detective who was investigating his death to clear out his apartment, we found it occupied by a cadre of homeless young men and women who had no idea he had even died, but knew they had a place to sleep and had been taking advantage of it. The cop was seriously unamused to find them there. He called for backup and then lined them up for questioning along the balcony, all eight of them. At first it seemed sinister or scary, and I thought perhaps one of them was to blame for my brother’s death. But as I spoke with them it became clear that most of them were just lost people trying to get by, with their own family and drug and mental health issues, who had perhaps benefited from my brother’s hospitality in the past and had no idea what had happened. When they were told, I could see they were sad and upset.

So...why are people homeless? There is no one reason, no one to blame, but one thing is clear; there is no simple or consistent answer, and assumptions help nobody.