Weatherwaxisms

On Father's Day eve this year I'm thinking a lot about my Dad.  I miss his unique and eccentric humor, his irreverence, his generosity. On his March 29 birthday in 1986, around the time when Dad retired from RCA, his good friend and co-worker Sandy Lynch compiled this list that always helps me remember him better; some were uttered by him with enthusiasm, others with irony or thinly-veiled sarcasm.

It's like poetry I think.  Those who knew him (or me) or worked with him (or me) or have been lucky enough to join us long ago for one of Mom's Sugar Acres dinners one evening may remember some of these phrases.  There are many parts of life where this vernacular suits, and why not?

Weatherwaxisms*

 Marvelous!

Hell of a plan (deal)

Absolutely ecstatic

You got it, little sister

I'd do it for a dog

You're a hell of a nice lady

You ain't all bad

May I help you?

Appling

Alleying

Sitting up late with sick friends

What is it that you want to have happen?

He/she is a bonafide flibbertygibbet

Poor damned thing

Floundering around aimlessly

I hope so--fervently

Depend on it!

The bean cannery

Right before your horrified eyes

Where will it ever end?

Basically bad

Ya done good!

Oh dear!

Kinda makes your sphincter tighten

Not too shabby

Feigned ardor

Why not?

Fair enough!

A live one

Try not to panic

Suits!

Pitiful

Hybrid vigor

Someone has to serve as a horrible example

*(So you don't forget the vernacular)

"I'll Have What She's Having..."

We have lost the sophisticated and enlightened humor of the great Nora Ephron at the young age of 71.  She wrote the classic "When Harry Met Sally."   Who is not familiar with Meg Ryan's fake orgasm scene and the middle-aged woman at the next table (played by Rob Reiner’s mom) telling the waiter "I'll have what she’s having."  She also wrote and directed "Sleepless in Seattle" and "You've Got Mail" among others.  Her last film was “Julie and Julia.”  She was great friends with Meryl Streep, who said at her memorial service “she was a breathtaking original.”  

Nora Ephron’s writing is a sure-fire recipe for laughter, in my book.  She was devoted to Manhattan, cooking and her family including the wonderful husband she finally found after a disastrous marriage to a philandering Carl Bernstein. She was also a strong feminist.  I knew very little about her until now, after she’s gone.  The more I read the more I admire her humor, her courage and her love of both reading and writing.

Newsweek and the New York Times both had good articles about her.  She came from a family of writers, both parents eventually ended up alcoholics.  Her mother famously told her, "Everything is copy." She turned many of her experiences from a bad marriage to the disappointments of aging into highly amusing scenes in her books and movies.  (I loved her hilarious book of essays from 2006 called "I Feel Bad About My Neck.") 

A life well-lived, ending too soon with a terminal illness.  Here are a few quotes attributed to her that I found interesting.

"I try to write parts for women that are as complicated and interesting as women really are."

"Reading is one of the main things I do.  Reading is everything.  Reading makes me feel I've accomplished something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter."

Some quotes from a 1996 commencement address to the young women at Wellesley:

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim."

"One of the things people always say to you if you get upset is don't take it personally.  Understand:  every attack on Hillary Clinton for not knowing her place is an attack on you.  Underneath all attacks are the words:  get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged.  When Elizabeth Dole pretends that she isn't serious about her career, that is an attack on you.  Any move to limit abortion rights is an attack on you--whether or not you believe in abortion.  The fact that Clarence Thomas is sitting on the Supreme Court today is an attack on you."

How refreshing--the idea that it might actually be appropriate to take it personally, to get angry and fight back. 

Farewell to Nora, an inspiration to women and particularly to those who know how to write and to laugh out loud.

The Old Bag Allegory

A domestic conversation with M recently had clear parallels with what I’ve observed at work. At the time, I was performing the mildly onerous daily task of sifting the poop out of the kitty litter box with my trusty slotted scoop and dumping it into one of the used plastic bags we save for this kind of thing. A particularly battered bag had been prominently placed next to the litter box so I went ahead and used it. M said, “From now on, be sure to use the old bags I put by the litter box.”

“Okay,” I said. “But how do you define old bags?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we have a drawer full of plastic bags and to me they’re all used and therefore old bags. But I’m sensing you have a more specific definition of the preferred oldness of the bags to be used for kitty poop and I’m just trying to understand your logic.”

“You don’t need to understand my logic. Just use the bags I set out for you by the litter box.”

“But I do want to understand the logic.”

“Why? Why do you need to understand the logic of which bags are the old bags?” he said with some annoyance.

This is where I started to see the work parallels. I smiled.

“Because, one day when I’m ready to scoop the poop and you are not around, alas and alack there will not be a bag set out for me to use, and I may have to Think for Myself and select a bag from the old bag drawer. Wanting to do the best possible job of following your old bag orders under this challenging circumstance it will help me greatly to know how I can tell which of the old bags are suitably old enough to be graced with cat poop,” I explained.

“Ah—well, a bag that has merely been used to convey vegetables from the grocery store to our house is not sufficiently old. A bag that has been subsequently reused after initial arrival at our house—that is a truly old bag,” he said. We were both laughing by then.

“Aha,” I said. “Now I know.”

And so it goes at work. If you want people to do work that meets your expectations then you had best give them the supporting logic as well, and you’ll get more consistently positive results, even when you aren’t around. They might even help you come up with some better logic; you never know.

“I assume that since you never reuse the green bags the newspapers come in that they can immediately be classified as old bags suitable for kitty poop; would this be a correct assumption?” I asked.

“Why yes,” he replied.

And there you have it.

Laughter Yoga and The End of Days

I could only chuckle to myself when I awoke this morning to the realization that I had been Left Behind; I had not been "raptured" as predicted by a certain Christian minister who was sure he knew when the big event would occur despite clear biblical references saying that only the Big Guy himself really knows the timing for these types of events. Of course, I would have been left behind anyway since I can't claim innocence from at least some minor and possibly major (depending on your flavor of religion) transgressions I've committed over the years. But I was also still safe in my bed and had not been dumped out of it by a cataclysmic earthquake either, so unless the end of days is a lot more subtle than previously suggested I think we've all dodged the bullet.

I am glad I chuckled, since I've been working lately on being less grim and serious, hoping to increase the joy in my life. Laughter is supposed to be a key component for this. I bought an app for my iPhone that randomly supplies one-liners from famous standup comedians like George Carlin and Richard Lewis. And I ventured out last Monday night to try something completely different--Laughter Yoga.

This is a group exercise in which everybody forms a circle facing each other and maintaining eye contact while a leader guides the group through various simple exercises in laughing--the deep, guttural, Kris Kringlesque haha hoho kind. This is not an opportunity to be the life of the party with jokes or standup comedy. It's more like a guided physical experience in using all the parts of the body together to produce extended mirth--lasting a good 40 to 45 minutes or longer. It takes a surprising amount of physical energy to sustain and I'm sure that's part of why it's beneficial. It doesn't matter if you aren't in the mood to laugh. You "fake it 'till you make it." And my experience was that the laughter can be infectious and can turn genuine.

A number of studies have shown that the act of laughing (even when you're forcing yourself) can be very beneficial--reducing stress, raising dopamine levels, increasing positive moods. It is also a natural way to connect on a basic way with other people.

I think I observed warmth and compassion in the eyes of some of those surrounding me, and a certain level of acceptance for whatever measure of laughter I (the only newby in the group) might achieve. Since we were supposed to be maintaining eye contact as we cavorted about the small wood-floored room with the royal blue meditation cushions stacked in the corner, I sometimes caught glimpses of more complicated emotions--grief, quiet desperation, hope. One man's laugh lines crinkled in friendly smile, a woman's wide-eyed glance sprang from the corner of her eye like a startled thoroughbred's.

I'm not sure yet what I made of it. But as I thought about the experience Tuesday morning while driving to work, I laughed out loud in a way I perhaps wouldn't have without the experience. And when I caught myself thinking sad thoughts this morning I forced a smile--and felt a little better. Good signs, no?

After all, those of us who have been Left Behind had best keep our spirits up.

If You Need a Smile on Turkey Day...

Here you go.


Pardoning the Turkey.


Long live West Wing.

That's a Joke, Son

There's an article by David Noonan in Newsweek this week from from their “Boomer Files” series called "The Way We Laughed." It is about the common ground we of a certain generation have in the realm of humor. A “Boomer Humor” quiz and a helpful timeline offer reminiscences about the evolution of humor for the boomer generation, a mixture of “nothing-is-sacred,” cynical, question-authority themes dating back as far as Mad Magazine’s Alferd E. Neuman (“What, me worry?") or even Popeye cartoons and The Three Stooges.I often find myself quoting certain phrases at work that I find funny, but to those around me from other cultures or generations, I am sure they are utterly indecipherable. Thus, a glossary is provided below.

• “Woop-woop-woop-woop. Spoken quickly in a high pitched tone, it is a comment acknowledging an out-of-control and somewhat scary situation, circa “The Three Stooges,” as in the situation in which Moe, Larry and Curly Joe are movers trying to transport a suite of armor that turns out to be haunted.
• "Danger, Will Robinson". Spoken in a robotic yet urgent voice to warn of the potential for an upcoming mistake or disaster. From the 1960’s TV series “Lost in Space,” it was spoken by the Robot charged with keeping the youngest member of the Space Family Robinson crew, Will Robinson, safe from danger in outer space.
• “I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!” An expression of outrageously evil spite, made famous by the actress playing the character of the Wicked Witch of the West in the 1939 version of the film “The Wizard of Oz.” The witch is so mean that her vengeance extends not only to Dorothy, but even to Dorothy’s little dog Toto, for God’s sake.
• “I’m melting, I’m melting. Ohhh, what a world, what a world…” Said witch’s final words expressing amazement at the undeserved cruelty of the world after Dorothy accidentally splashes water on her (while trying to save the Scarecrow who the witch has just attempted to burn to death), and it turns out she melts on exposure to water (who knew?). Yes, this is the type of fairy tale I grew up with.
• “Don't crush that dwarf--and hand me the pliers." One of the many insane phrases from a 1970s comedy troupe called The Firesign Theater, creators of the Rocky Roccoco and Nick Danger characters among others. I also recall them using this phrase: "Is this your bar of soap? ….we thought so,” during a bit with a border guard, spoken ominously and officiously in a German accent as a supreme expression of Fascism induced paranoia. However, no one else can remember this so it might be my own active imagination.
• “Resistance is futile.” Suitable in cases where the corporation has made an edict apparently beyond questioning, this is the declaration of The Borg in Star Trek letting you know that this organization is way too big to be stopped by any reservations you may have on strategy.
• “No soup for you!” Spoken by the Soup Nazi to Seinfeld, Elaine and company after they commit some transgression that results in being banned from their favorite and exclusive soup stand. It’s a NYC thing.
• “Festivus for the rest of us,” the strange family tradition of Seinfeld’s friend, George, which involves among other things an aluminum flagpole and wrestling your dinner host to the ground after airing all grievances with everyone attending the holiday dinner. Amusing to anyone whose own family had weird holiday traditions.
• “You got a whole lot of ‘splainin to do, Lucy,” spoken by Ricky Ricardo to Lucille Ball upon discovering yet another hair-brained scheme of Lucy’s that has wreaked havoc, usually as part of Lucy’s continuing effort to participate in Ricky’s show.
• “I don’t thin’ so, Queeksdraw…” spoken in a stereotypical Mexican accent by cartoon character Quick Draw McGraw’s often wiser sidekick Baba Looey when Quick Draw in his infinite wisdom is about to get them in trouble with another hair-brained scheme that will result in them having “a whole lot of ‘splainin’ to do” (see above). Quick Draw always assures Baba Looey that he’ll “do all the thinnin’ around here…” Another handy one in the corporate world.
• “Beep-beep,” another cartoon reference, this is the old fashioned version of the modern day Simpsons “aha,” uttered by the Roadrunner while cleverly leaving Wile E. Coyote in the dust again.
• “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.” Spoken in a frenzied British accent, this is a Monty Python, expression referring to the extreme cleverness of the strategy of fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency. Who would expect that in the corporate world, hmmm? Also use to explain why you haven’t anticipated the latest misstep or malfunction.
• “He’s not dead—he’s restin’.” Paraphrase from Monty Python, spoken in an indignant Cockney accent by the pet store clerk who is attempting to address the complaints of a dubious customer to whom he has sold a dead parrot, nailed upright to its perch. Representative of corporate unwillingness to face reality especially when dealing with customers.
• “Dave’s not here, man.” Supremely representative of severe miscommunication, this is from a Cheech and Chong album where Dave is urgently banging on the door, desperate to be let in and whispering repeatedly, “It’s Dave, let me in, it’s Dave,” with Chong on the other side of the door repeatedly responding in a very stoned voice with, “Dave’s, not here, man.”
• “Jane, you ignorant slut,” a good one for the upcoming political season or for any heated argument. From a Saturday Night Life (SNL) takeoff on the political sparring of "Point, Counterpoint," Jane Curtin always begins with well-reasoned points on a topic, followed by Dan Aykroyd who begins his counterpoint segment with “Jane, you ignorant slut.” Not that this kind of thing ever happens in real life.
• “As Roseanne Roseannadanna always says, ‘it’s always something’.” The signature phrase of a gum-chewing, inane character created by the legendary Gilda Radner of SNL.
• “Oh, that’s very different. Nevermind.” Another character of Gilda Radner's, Emily Litella. Emily is a little old deaf lady who, much to Jane Curtin’s annoyance, always wants to have her say in the evening news and express her dismay at some new current events development, like “Violins in the Schools.” “What so bad about violins in the schools?” she asks with righteous indignance. "Kids should have more music these days, this is an outrage"…and then Jane has to explain that it’s not violins in the schools, it’s “violence in the schools.” At which point Emily Litella pauses for a moment and then says sweetly, “Ohhh – that’s very different. Nevermind.”

There are many more of course - feel free to post your own!