Be Not Afraid

Over the past many weeks I’ve had a severe case of blogger’s block which I am now working to overcome One Word at a Time. During this period I’ve been immobilized by an emotion that actually kept me from eating it was so bad (hardly anything can keep me from eating, more’s the pity). I even was losing weight for awhile. The emotion causing the loss of appetite was creating quite a hellish situation for me, with constant stomach twinges, depression, and more.

I got some time off from work over the Christmas break, and was able to gain enough perspective to realize that the emotion freezing me in my tracks was fear. Fear of the future, fear of failure, fear of the death of my loved ones, fear that people I respect will not respect me back, fear that am not worthy, fear of writing a blog that was boring or full of bullsh*t.

I’ve since been spending a lot of time analyzing this fear, how it lessened with a change of scene and routine, how focusing on the present moment can reduce fear, and how amazing it is to be trapped in your mind without the ability to step back and see how it is churning in unhealthy ways. Fear can keep you from enjoying life, from taking risks, from loving, from blogging. (My rule about my blog, for better or for worse, is that it cannot be personal day-to-day drivel and whining, but instead has to share something that might actually be useful or interesting to multiple other people. Normally this rule has not kept me silent, but clearly recently it has.)

Winston Churchill said: “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”

So, here are my top 10 ways to stop being afraid:

10. Recognize that it is fear you’re feeling, and then try to articulate what it is that you fear.
9. Delve into the fear; take it to its ridiculous extreme. See the distortions and exaggerations in the fear.
8. Exposure yourself at every opportunity to the thing or activity you fear. Immersion in the fear will cause it eventually to lessen (especially good with things like fear of flying, fear of spiders, fear of public speaking).
7. Focus on what is happening right now this minute; be here and now. Look around - is there anything here and now that you fear?
6. Help somebody else with something. It is harder to be afraid when you are focused on helping somebody else.
5. Breathe.
4. Talk to somebody about your fear. When you start saying things out loud sometimes they are less scary.
3. If you have a cat, see if the cat will sit in your lap (they are finicky little things so good luck) and then pet the cat. It is hard to be as afraid when you are petting a cat. Full disclosure: Emily the cat is in my lap right now.
2. Get moving. Take a walk in the sunshine. Work out the fear.
1. Draw on spirit, if you have a spiritual focus. Consider the connectedness of all humans and how many of them are feeling much worse fear and anguish right now than you could possibly be feeling. Be grateful for everything you do have, as you breathe in the fear of all humans, and breathe out the hope that all may experience inner peace.

Do you have fear-bashing techniques I haven’t listed? Feel free to comment.

Must Blogs be “Civil”, and What is Civil?

Death threats on her "Creating Passionate Users" blog caused Kathy Sierra, a well-known local Boulderite who writes about computer user interfaces, to cancel her appearance at conference recently. I went and took a look – and what I found was indeed offensive, pointless, and scary. I can see why she was upset. (She has since moved the original post to a separate website but has a link to it for those who are still interested.)

A Computerworld article this week explored the question of whether blogs can be regulated for civility, or whether that would be considered censorship. Now Tim O’Reilly has proposed a draft blog code of conduct with the hope of somehow enforcing civility in the wild, wild Internet, complete with a badge you can affix to your blog indicating that you follow the code. There is another badge depicting a stick of dynamite if your blog is the kind where "anything goes."

One of the dissenting comments was “We don’t need no stinkin’ badges,” and another argued that there is no way to enforce civility.

Of course there is much debate on the proposed code. Some bloggers hate the idea of private conversations between bloggers to settle issues regarding offensive comments, for example, because it strikes at the heart and soul of blogging, an inherently public activity. Others argue that not allowing anonymity will eliminate many valuable comments. Many bloggers find the idea of a code of conduct offensive and believe that the spirit of the Internet and free speech are at stake.

Up until now I have moderated this blog (which so far has received a miniscule number of comments anyway), which means that no comment is posted until I’ve reviewed it. I don’t think I would delete a posting unless it could truly be considered malicious abuse or libel, though. For some bloggers, even that much censorship is unacceptable. One blogger, commenting on the code of conduct says, “I know offensive when I see it, and I’ll delete it.”

What do you think?