That's a Joke, Son

There's an article by David Noonan in Newsweek this week from from their “Boomer Files” series called "The Way We Laughed." It is about the common ground we of a certain generation have in the realm of humor. A “Boomer Humor” quiz and a helpful timeline offer reminiscences about the evolution of humor for the boomer generation, a mixture of “nothing-is-sacred,” cynical, question-authority themes dating back as far as Mad Magazine’s Alferd E. Neuman (“What, me worry?") or even Popeye cartoons and The Three Stooges.I often find myself quoting certain phrases at work that I find funny, but to those around me from other cultures or generations, I am sure they are utterly indecipherable. Thus, a glossary is provided below.

• “Woop-woop-woop-woop. Spoken quickly in a high pitched tone, it is a comment acknowledging an out-of-control and somewhat scary situation, circa “The Three Stooges,” as in the situation in which Moe, Larry and Curly Joe are movers trying to transport a suite of armor that turns out to be haunted.
• "Danger, Will Robinson". Spoken in a robotic yet urgent voice to warn of the potential for an upcoming mistake or disaster. From the 1960’s TV series “Lost in Space,” it was spoken by the Robot charged with keeping the youngest member of the Space Family Robinson crew, Will Robinson, safe from danger in outer space.
• “I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!” An expression of outrageously evil spite, made famous by the actress playing the character of the Wicked Witch of the West in the 1939 version of the film “The Wizard of Oz.” The witch is so mean that her vengeance extends not only to Dorothy, but even to Dorothy’s little dog Toto, for God’s sake.
• “I’m melting, I’m melting. Ohhh, what a world, what a world…” Said witch’s final words expressing amazement at the undeserved cruelty of the world after Dorothy accidentally splashes water on her (while trying to save the Scarecrow who the witch has just attempted to burn to death), and it turns out she melts on exposure to water (who knew?). Yes, this is the type of fairy tale I grew up with.
• “Don't crush that dwarf--and hand me the pliers." One of the many insane phrases from a 1970s comedy troupe called The Firesign Theater, creators of the Rocky Roccoco and Nick Danger characters among others. I also recall them using this phrase: "Is this your bar of soap? ….we thought so,” during a bit with a border guard, spoken ominously and officiously in a German accent as a supreme expression of Fascism induced paranoia. However, no one else can remember this so it might be my own active imagination.
• “Resistance is futile.” Suitable in cases where the corporation has made an edict apparently beyond questioning, this is the declaration of The Borg in Star Trek letting you know that this organization is way too big to be stopped by any reservations you may have on strategy.
• “No soup for you!” Spoken by the Soup Nazi to Seinfeld, Elaine and company after they commit some transgression that results in being banned from their favorite and exclusive soup stand. It’s a NYC thing.
• “Festivus for the rest of us,” the strange family tradition of Seinfeld’s friend, George, which involves among other things an aluminum flagpole and wrestling your dinner host to the ground after airing all grievances with everyone attending the holiday dinner. Amusing to anyone whose own family had weird holiday traditions.
• “You got a whole lot of ‘splainin to do, Lucy,” spoken by Ricky Ricardo to Lucille Ball upon discovering yet another hair-brained scheme of Lucy’s that has wreaked havoc, usually as part of Lucy’s continuing effort to participate in Ricky’s show.
• “I don’t thin’ so, Queeksdraw…” spoken in a stereotypical Mexican accent by cartoon character Quick Draw McGraw’s often wiser sidekick Baba Looey when Quick Draw in his infinite wisdom is about to get them in trouble with another hair-brained scheme that will result in them having “a whole lot of ‘splainin’ to do” (see above). Quick Draw always assures Baba Looey that he’ll “do all the thinnin’ around here…” Another handy one in the corporate world.
• “Beep-beep,” another cartoon reference, this is the old fashioned version of the modern day Simpsons “aha,” uttered by the Roadrunner while cleverly leaving Wile E. Coyote in the dust again.
• “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.” Spoken in a frenzied British accent, this is a Monty Python, expression referring to the extreme cleverness of the strategy of fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency. Who would expect that in the corporate world, hmmm? Also use to explain why you haven’t anticipated the latest misstep or malfunction.
• “He’s not dead—he’s restin’.” Paraphrase from Monty Python, spoken in an indignant Cockney accent by the pet store clerk who is attempting to address the complaints of a dubious customer to whom he has sold a dead parrot, nailed upright to its perch. Representative of corporate unwillingness to face reality especially when dealing with customers.
• “Dave’s not here, man.” Supremely representative of severe miscommunication, this is from a Cheech and Chong album where Dave is urgently banging on the door, desperate to be let in and whispering repeatedly, “It’s Dave, let me in, it’s Dave,” with Chong on the other side of the door repeatedly responding in a very stoned voice with, “Dave’s, not here, man.”
• “Jane, you ignorant slut,” a good one for the upcoming political season or for any heated argument. From a Saturday Night Life (SNL) takeoff on the political sparring of "Point, Counterpoint," Jane Curtin always begins with well-reasoned points on a topic, followed by Dan Aykroyd who begins his counterpoint segment with “Jane, you ignorant slut.” Not that this kind of thing ever happens in real life.
• “As Roseanne Roseannadanna always says, ‘it’s always something’.” The signature phrase of a gum-chewing, inane character created by the legendary Gilda Radner of SNL.
• “Oh, that’s very different. Nevermind.” Another character of Gilda Radner's, Emily Litella. Emily is a little old deaf lady who, much to Jane Curtin’s annoyance, always wants to have her say in the evening news and express her dismay at some new current events development, like “Violins in the Schools.” “What so bad about violins in the schools?” she asks with righteous indignance. "Kids should have more music these days, this is an outrage"…and then Jane has to explain that it’s not violins in the schools, it’s “violence in the schools.” At which point Emily Litella pauses for a moment and then says sweetly, “Ohhh – that’s very different. Nevermind.”

There are many more of course - feel free to post your own!