Thinking

Are you thinking of telephones
And managers and where you have to be at noon
You are living a reality
I left years ago, it quite nearly killed me
In the long run, it will make you cry
Make you crazy, old before your time…

Stephen Stills

We visit the Boulder Shambhala Meditation Center to attend the “Beginner’s Class.” This center for Buddhist studies was started in the 70’s by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, and we are fortunate to have it in our hometown.

Sitting with our bottoms firmly planted on the red meditation cushions with the yellow squares in the middle along with the other beginners, we are instructed to focus on the breath, in and out, and when a thought intervenes to lightly touch it and acknowledge it as “thinking,” then bring the focus back to our breathing again and again.

Easier said than done, as endless neurotic thoughts invade my consciousness about work people at work failures at work and elsewhere various aches pains tickles and twitches as well as what I will have for lunch and whether barbecued ribs would be a bad thing from the Buddhist point of view and also what nice posture the younger people sitting in the front rows have compared to my own crookedness oops that is a judgment and they told me I shouldn’t judge (hah!)…

It is extraordinary how difficult it is to focus only on my breathing for any length of time at all, and to lightly let go of each thought as a feather would lightly touch a bubble. We also try walking meditation at one point, where we focus on our feet rather than breath and walk slowly in a circle around our meditation cushions. I nearly lose my balance and fall during this exercise as though I have suddenly forgotten how to walk.

Still, the respite from constant thought is a worthy experience to seek, and I will continue to practice.