Wish You Were Here

There is a succinct phrase Mark uses to describe death and one of his philosophies about it; I first heard him mention it when my Mom died and he says it comes from an old movie, although I have never found the reference. The phrase is: “You’re not here, you’re here, you’re not here.”

Somehow this links in with an earworm I’ve had for the past few weeks: the classic Pink Floyd tune circa 1975, “Wish You Were Here, ” by David Gilmour (music) and Roger Waters (lyrics). To me this is a song about the despair and grief you feel when someone you deeply love is not really there anymore—even when they might be right next to you.

The song begins with the sound of a woman’s voice on the radio and what sounds like a twist of the knob, scanning the channels, classical music, a search for a better station. Then strumming begins on a 12-string acoustic guitar, quietly scratchy at first as though over the radio. The sound seems to floating across a lake late at night. It gets a little louder and another guitar joins in with the lead. Finally the song starts:

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears,
Wish you were here.

Listen to it sometime. I swear it is a song about two people together but apart: "Wish You Were Here.” At the end, you can hear the lonely sound of wind scouring a desert or moor (or perhaps the dark side of the moon).

You’re not here, you’re here, you’re not here.

Expecto Patronum

In the celebrated J.K. Rawlings books about Harry Potter, one of the worst villains is the Dementor, a creature who feeds on happiness and positive emotions and sucks all hope and joy out of you, leaving behind only the coldest feelings of hopelessness and despair.

The remedy in the magical world of Harry Potter is a particular spell, Expecto Patronum, which when successfully performed invokes a silvery being call a Patronus filled with happiness and light – but who can feel no unhappiness and can therefore defend against the Dementors. The Patronus is an animal image, unique to each wizard or witch; Harry’s is a stag. The spell is difficult, and only successful if the wizard is strong enough to focus on one of his happiest thoughts or memories. Together the spell caster and the Patronus (Patronus is Latin for patron saint) are able to drive off the Dementors.

In the latest novel of the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, one of the climactic scenes has Harry and his friends Ron and Hermione desperately attempting to cast the Expecto Patronum spell but being overwhelmed with grief and sadness by an army of Dementors. Then three friends show up with new hope and strength, and the six of them together are able to conjure their Patronum and overcome the Dementors. It is a parable about how strength of will and determination to push back thoughts of sadness and hopelessness can win out, sometimes only with the help of friends. Rawlings is said to have suffered from depression, and perhaps this was drawn from her own life.

Lately I've been battling depression and despair myself. I have found that it actually helps to utter the mantra Expecto Patronum from time to time. Mind over mind. Who knew.

A Midsummer's Night Romp in the Woods

Last weekend I went back to Bloomington to see a show my sister put together. It was an amazing combination of dance, music and improvisation, held on a summer night, outside, deep in an Indiana woods and meadow. There was a soiree beforehand for Nell’s supporters and a party late into the night afterwards with a crowd of extremely interesting and creative people. A cabaret-style performance of show tunes was particularly during the soiree was wonderful, especially "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," and the song from Porgy and Bess.

As the show started, George the tall troubadour led the audience on a walk through this woods. The theme was our interactions with and conception of God and the gods. A beautifully done folk song performed by Carrie and Krista about the mystical experience possible in the meadow, opened the show. Next was an operatic scene in which a hapless young woman humorously confessed that she had really done it now, and was then exhorted by God for having done it without consulting him first but on the other hand assured by Fate that she had no choice in doing it. We never know quite what “it” is but clearly it has caused a lot of grief. A Greek chorus led by Nell's friend Janiece stood by and chimed in on all the troubles and grief humans can get themselves into and the many plaints that result, not the least of which: "My dog has flees." In the end, a satyr lured the heroine off deep into the woods, and we followed.

We walked down the hill past mysterious lights held by members of the chorus amid thundering sounds of solemnity and tiny bell chimes, and then gathered to observe a quite incredible dance, which began with male and female shapes in shadow behind a red cloth, with chorus and music accompanying. The dance, done first together by Marielle and Robert, showed different aspects of a relationship between two people and perhaps also their relationship with spirituality; ultimately the larger shadow of a god hovered over the vulnerable human outstretched on the ground. Then they parted, and Robert did an amazingly powerful dance by himself with the long red cloth suspended from a tree, that seemed to show the emotion of wanting to reach out to love or be loved, and instead feeling trapped and anguished, but eventually finding one’s way back to the beginning and to life again.

After this we walked further to a hidden alcove in the forest, where we heard another dulcimer-accompanied musical piece by Carrie and Krista and later a drumming dialog deep in the woods, with a distantly heard and humorous argument/dialog/profession of love between a primitive couple.

We walked on to another clearing where the chorus of women stood, singing in a rhythmic African beat with great joy and making us all want to clap and join in. Then they stopped, picked up lights in both hands, and did a mysterious dance in the darkness the reminded me of fireflies. They began singing an old folk song and the audience joined in singing as well as we headed up the hill:

The water is wide,
I cannot get o’er.
Neither have I wings to fly.
Give me a boat
That will carry two.
And both shall row,
My true love and I.

It felt so good to sing along with that song—it soothed the soul. We walked back up and stood by the upper pond, where Scott did a beautifully creative dance from a platform in the middle of the pond, his body reflected in the water, with a blue ball of light that floated away from him and eventually returned to him as, in his dance, he emerged slowly from the water in an awakening, and eventually strode out of the pond toward a vision of a glowing angel on the far shore to whom he handed the ball, which I imagined represented his spirituality or soul.

Finally we walked to a simple stage, where Nell did her improvisational movement theater. This was the first time I had seen her do this particular kind of performance, and I was thrilled to finally see it. She spoke of memories we shared from our childhood, both heartbreaking (memories of my troubled brother) and beautiful. When a freight train and demolition sounds from the county fair threatened to distract her performance, she managed to weave them seamlessly into the storytelling. I especially loved her description of the candle boats on McCormick’s Creek during Y-camp and how magical they looked at night, floating down the stream. She talked about a conversation she had with my father where she asked him whether he believed in God. He replied that he did not believe in God, but believed in good, and that if we did good, he knew that it would come back around. To me this was a great way to end the show, tying back to the theme once more.

Nell is surrounded and helped to do all this each year by a loving group of astounding friends, some quite well known either locally or nationally for their creative work. I was hugely impressed by everything she and the group had accomplished with this show and look forward to seeing others in the future.

On Fern Canyon Trail

Today I hiked up from Devil’s Thumb to Fern Canyon Trail until it became so steep that I had to stop. Along the way I saw many wildflowers and tried to capture them with the still relatively new digital camera, but alas I am an amateur. There were several people on the trail, all friendly and happy to be there. The craggy area to the right of the trail was closed off to preserve wildlife, including eagles said to be nesting there, although the sign was circumspect about this and did not disclose the eagle part, probably to discourage exploration that would disturb the nests. There was also a statement clearly meant for climbers that mentioned a permanent closure of the area to climbing if climbers violated the closure period (I guess the $1,000 fine and 30 days in jail wasn’t enough of a threat).

I kept my eye on the sky but only spotted a chickadee on an upper branch, no big birds. I also spotted a black squirrel with his pointy ears, peering down at me from an upper branch, skittering around the tree trunk in alarm and making a bruck-bruck-bruck sound reminiscent of a chicken. I tried to capture him too with the camera, but was unsuccessful. Oh, well, if you insist, here is my best shot. I haven’t yet learned to click the shutter first and ask questions later. I missed a bee on one of the flowers the same way. I was happy to see a bee, given the dire news about the possibility that cell phones and other interference are confusing the honeybees and preventing them from their usual pollinating flight patterns.

As I spotted species after species of wildflower my thoughts turned to my mother who loved to quote the scientific genus and species for plants as she spotted them on a hike. I have tried to identify a few of the flowers I saw, in memory of her. I think that this one is a Siberian Aster, Aster sibiricus.

I also saw a yellow cactus flower. I think the cactus is a prickly pear, Opuntia phaeacantha, but am not sure. This is the first time I remember seeing a cactus flower in the wild.

Headed back down the trail I noticed some purple thistles, quite beautiful in their varying range, from flowers to fluff. The wildflower book mentions a variety called Hooker's Thistle, Cirsium hookerianum.

Face at Nissi's

On Ginny’s 50th Birthday I had the incredible fortune to be invited back to Nissi’s to hear a Colorado-based a capella men’s singing group called Face. Go here to hear a sample from Face and understand that everything you hear is done with their voices alone, each holding a mike on the stage. There are no instruments.

They were incredible, and I enjoyed every minute of it. They provide all percussion and other instruments via their voices alone (a fact that was dubiously received by at least one member of our party because they were so good at it). They also have a strong musical, choreographic and rhythmic sense with their entire bodies that made their performance a joy to watch. Each of the seven members of this troupe is hugely talented in his own way and contributed strongly to the whole. Additionally, given comments they made they do at least some of their own original arrangements, which lends another angle of creativity.

I especially enjoyed their version of John Lennon’s “Let it Be,” which they said was a brand new arrangement they were only performing for the second time, and also their version of Paul Simon’s “An American Tune,” which they related back to a classic choral piece by Bach, I believe, which they said had been the basis for Simon’s tune. You know this Paul Simon song if you hear the lyrics:

Oh, but I'm all right,
I'm all right
I'm just weary to my bones
Still, you don't expect to be bright and bon vivant
So far away from home
So far away from home

They began with the German classic, sung in (possibly fake?) German with many jokes about their ability to pronounce it, and them morphed it into the Paul Simon piece seamlessly, and with great emotion and insight.

In a rendition of Mancini’s “The Pink Panther,” they requested a random animal sound from the audience before the song began, and then ended up breaking up not only the crowd but the performers, as a hilarious attempt was made toward the end to introduce a donkey to the panther. They said that they had had a request for a monkey the night before, which I can only imagine.

Their percussion expert did a short set of “drum solos” that included a version of “Wipeout,” just to show his virtuosity with the drums, (actually sounds produced entirely with his own voice).

One of the most entertaining things is how the group occupies the entire stage, obviously enjoying the music as they move to it. You have the urge to move also. Try it, you’ll like it. They also make lots of jokes and clearly have an almost improv sense of humor – I laughed several times, which is definitely good for the soul.

This is a group that appears regularly at Nissi’s, so you will have other opportunities to see them. In fact, you can see them there on July 22 and 23 and again in late August. Recommendation: buy your tickets early at Nissi’s because it was a full house tonight. Once again I have to implore the population of Boulder County, and particularly Lafayette for heaven’s sake since they are right in your neighborhood, to check out Nissi’s and give them the support they deserve for their own support of live music in this area.

Face also mentioned they would be at Boulder’s new 29th Street Mall Friday night July 6 at 6:00 pm.

Water

It is hotter than hammering hell in Boulder today, verging on 100 degrees. The nice thing about Boulder is that no matter how hot it is, very cold water from the mountains flows through pipes, out of our faucets, and into our glasses for drinking. A quick cold shower can provide an amazing sense of well-being and refreshment, even in the heat of the noonday sun. Water is the beverage of choice for me, and I can’t seem to get enough of it this time of year.

A few years ago, we had a drought in Colorado and had to save our "gray water" from bathtubs and sinks to keep our flowers and grass alive. It was a bleak time, but I think it resulted in more mindfulness and appreciation of water and how to conserve it. I am grateful for this simple thing--fresh, clear water. We are so very lucky – for many people in many countries of the world clean water is an unobtainable luxury.

Rob Rio Revisited

Twenty-five years ago in South Boulder there was a tavern called La Paz, and in that tavern some nights we had the joy of hearing Rob Rio play boogie woogie piano blues. He was and is amazing - I cannot even describe it except that it makes me smile, laugh, clap and hoot each time I hear it - to understand you've gotta hear it for yourself.

Back then, Rob had long black hair down his back that he wore tied back to keep it out of the way, and often played with a cigarette hanging precariously from his mouth.

Due to the alertness of our friend Ginny, last night we had the unexpected pleasure of hearing him again after all these years, at Nissi’s, a new restaurant in Lafayette that is hosting live music many nights of the week. I walked away a renewed fan of Rob’s – and a new fan of Nissi’s. The local owners have great taste in music, genuinely support it, and also know how to run a high quality restaurant.

Support live music in Boulder County, and check out their calendar! If you want more of Rob, check out this youtube of him playing "Rocket 88"!