The Supper Table

One of the best memories I have from growing up and well into my college years was the family suppers—conversations and connections after a full day that we all had around the dining room table.

My Mom managed to put a home-cooked, balanced meal on the table every single night despite the fact that she worked full-time. At dinner we were all (including any visiting guests) expected to have and contribute interesting conversation (a lost skill), stories from our day, amusing jokes we had heard, and clever guesses when playing word games. There was frequent laughter and, sometimes, intense debate about current events. After dinner we would often linger talking and joking for quite awhile. The television, that monster of the modern age, was never on during or after dinner.

It was always the kids’ job to clear the table, do the dishes, wipe down the counters and put everything away after supper. It was my special job to boil the water and make the instant coffee for Mom and Dad. They both took milk; Mom took a quarter teaspoonful of sugar and Dad took a teaspoon and a half. Disgusted protests would occur if I got them mixed up. I would bring it to them as they were still sitting at the table conversing, or often they would be doing what they called “stooping”—sitting and having further quiet conversation about their day on the back steps (in the old house in Ellettsville) or on the deck looking out over the woods (in the newer house in Sugar Lane).

After coffee often my father would pronounce, “I am the greatest!”—a claim borrowed from the great fighter Mohammed Ali. The proper response to this (if you had any guts at all) was to confidently proclaim, “No, I am the greatest!” And then the Scrabble board would be hauled out, and all who were willing would play.

My Dad’s Scrabble strength was 7-letter words, which he often took many long minutes to produce. Patience was a virtue during these games. My Mom’s strength was diabolical, tightly interlaced plays leveraging triple-word or triple-letter scores, never leaving openings. House rules were that you could not play a word unless you could clearly define it from memory.

Close to the dining room table in the Sugar Lane house was a hutch, and on the hutch were some nice pieces of glassware, various fishing memorabilia of my Dad’s, an old German mug brought home from Europe after the war. Our gray cat Shadow would sit on the hutch gazing alertly at the Scrabble board as if he were formulating his own play, and would occasionally reach out his paw and quietly lay it on the shoulder of the person sitting with his back to the hutch, as though to offer some form of support during difficult moments. Also on the hutch was a collection of windup toys from past Christmas stockings, ranging from pink plastic pigs to green spotted frogs to little shuffling red sneakers. To liven things up, especially if Dad was taking forever with a 7-letter word, we would wind up the toys and get them going all at once, hopping and shuffling and lurching across the table, and then laugh uproariously when my Dad looked at us askance over his glasses.

When my sister got married at the house one year and her wedding cake was sitting on the supper table, a windup frog ended up decorating the cake and I remember laughing about this so hard I got tears in my eyes. I’m not sure what the groom’s family made of this.

I have tried to encourage the supper table tradition with my own family, and am thrilled and happy when it ends up working out. It brings back some good memories.