BinBots, or "Are You Acquired? Have You Ever Been Acquired? I Have."

A colleague of mine used to utter a phrase I always heard as “BinBot” when talking about an employee of a company that’s “been bought” – i.e. acquired by another company. Many years have passed since the last time I was acquired.

But last week my company and another much larger company announced what they say is a marriage made in heaven. Their CEO actually told us in a meeting that we were “beautiful” and they “don’t want to change a thing about” us – that we will remain an independent entity, etc. etc.

This much adoration is enough to make a girl bat her eyes and blush furiously, but I think I’ll not let it go to my head.

We know damn well the only constant is change. But we are assured that nothing will change, we are doing great already, we should proceed with our existing plans and priorities and not be distracted by the fact that a company ten times larger than us has plans to buy us, or the other fact that now there appears to be a potential bidding war over our lovely selves.

A girl has the urge to say, “Why don’t you and him fight?” But a fight would be unpleasant and somebody might get hurt—most likely the tiniest bystanders (that would be us). I hope the deal goes through smoothly and quickly—this would be much preferred over a prolonged engagement, or a bloody brawl at the wedding, or worse still a shotgun wedding with one of the other scarier suitors—who have belatedly realized how gorgeous and irresistible we are and how much they do not want someone else to have us.

It’s kind of nice to be desired again—it seems like it’s been forever.